An Illusionary Paradise's Tragedy
by Erikovic
Summary: Reimu falls into severe depression and ends up doing the most incomprehesible thing; commiting suicide. Certain acquaintances of hers are then highly affected by her actions. Rated T for suicide.


It was another sunny day in the fantastic land of Gensokyo. The sun shone bright, the youkai and fairies rejoice and all of Gensokyo's residents follow their daily routines cheerfully. Everything seems to be normal; spring is not so weak this year, and flowers bloom nobly under the sunlight. However, even though everything seems to be absolutely fine with all of the humans and youkai, the Hakurei shrine maiden appears to be acting oddly. Her behavior got duller and duller, and even though she was always quite phlegmatic and acted that way towards pretty much everyone, things started to get more bizarre lately. She would brush everyone off no matter the situation and lock herself inside her shrine all day long. Just what could be wrong?

"Oi, Reimu!" the voice of the Ordinary Witch echoed through the Hakurei Shrine. Reimu lifted her head and turned her gaze to the shrine's door, which was open. She saw Marisa happily waving and walking towards the shrine, with a grin so big and bright, that you'd immediately understand she's in a cheerful mood; maybe a bit mischievous too. "Just what the hell does that idiot want from me this time…" she murmured to herself as Marisa stepped inside the shrine. "How are ya today?" she said. "I thought I should ask you to come flower viewing with me and Alice! What do ya think?" Marisa happily spinned her broom, her smile never leaving her face. Reimu gazed at her with the most miserable of expressions, attempting to find something to say, but nothing could come out of her mouth without sounding extremely insulting. She never bothered to be polite, why would she now?

Just as she was about to respond to the cheery magician, a little oni burst through the front door. "REIMUUUUU~" her voice, loud as ever, pierced Reimu's ears like a knife. Reimu's expression turned from miserable to absolutely disgusted, with a mixture of anger. "Reeeimu, I'm all out of sakeeee! Can you pretty please give me someeeee? I need sakeeee!" The Little Pandemonium kept whining and whining and asking for her beloved alcoholic beverage, only managing to make Reimu angrier. "Yo, Suika, wanna come flower viewing with us?" Marisa interfered. "I'm sure we'll find some sake for ya too, ze!" said the witch, full of confidence. The now pissed Hakurei Shrine Maiden was almost at her limit, just a second away from yelling and shouting, but the situation did not get any better.

"Suika…" she mumbled. "Can you just—" All of a sudden, she was interrupted mid-sentence. "Well, well, well~" A mysterious gap opened wide right above the shrine maiden's head, and a beautiful blonde woman appeared from it, peeking on the inside of the shrine. "Is there a party going on here?" she chuckled. "How dare you hold such an event without me~" The youkai smiled deviously as Reimu's right eye started twitching. "Oh, Yukari. Did you stalk us enough to hear about the flower viewing and sake?" said Marisa. "Maybe I did, but what matters is that we'll all be having fun~" she said, confidently. Reimu looked down, her hair covering half of her face, but you could almost see that she was shaking.

"Reimu, so what's it gonna be? Comin' with me and Alice and whoever else or nah?"

"Reimuuuuuu, will you give me more sakeeee?"

"Reimu. May I join your little party?

"Reimu!"

"Reimuuuuu~"

"Reimu."

The Hakurei shrine maiden aggressively stomped the floor. "SHUT UP, ALL OF YOU." She shouted. The witch, oni, and youkai immediately stopped speaking and gasped in surprise. "ENOUGH, I'VE HAD ENOUGH OF YOU." She kept shouting, a drop or two of saliva falling from her mouth. "JUST SHUT UP AND LEAVE MY SHRINE THIS INSTANT!" You could almost hear her snarling at each and every girl in the shrine. Suika looked genuinely terrified, Marisa purely surprised and Yukari overwhelmed. The oni and witch quietly stepped out of the shrine and walked away, and the youkai slowly made her way back in her gap and vanished along with it. The shrine maiden fell on her knees and wiped away the saliva from her chin. "Tch."

* * *

The days passed peacefully, the Hakurei Shrine was less and less visited by every human and youkai its shrine maiden was familiar with, and Reimu kept locking herself up in her shrine. Even Yukari rarely ever visited again, in fear of disturbing Reimu. You can tell something is wrong if a mischievous, rule-breaking youkai like her prefers to leave Reimu at peace rather than visit her like she always does.

"I cannot tolerate this any longer…" the shrine maiden mumbled under her breath, pulling her skirt towards her. She coughed, and could barely keep her eyes open; they stung so much it was as if needles penetrated her eyeballs. She lacked sleep, energy and mostly motivation, constantly covering herself with blankets as her body's temperature was always tremendously low. Her lips were shaking from the cold, a tear or two were streaming down her cheeks from time to time. She was filled with negative emotions and felt as if she wanted to explode to let them go. Not even her tea could make her feel any better, as warm as it surprisingly remained through the hours. All this negativity… But what did she truly desire to make it disappear? That is unknown to her; she's not sure if she knows what she really wants.

All those complex emotions… She could not take any more. Pressured, by isolating herself she attempted to escape within her own mind, but to no avail. Just like her reality, sorrow and pain poured out from all over her inner world. The situation was intolerable. She was always a serious and quite rational young girl, but her thoughts began becoming more and more bizarre. They involved unspeakable things, things she would have never imagined about herself. That devious little voice in her head would simply not shut up. She tried to keep it down, forbid it from influencing her actions and controlling them. But in the end, it proved to be too strong.

"Reimu… This pain in your chest feels horrible doesn't it? Did you know that there's a way to make it go away?"

"No… no… stop it!" She said out loud. Her voice echoed through the shrine, no one else was there to hear her. It appeared as if she was talking to herself. But practically, wasn't that was she was doing? Or is this voice a separate, evil entity?

"Reimu… Reimu… I know what can ease the pain." The voice's tone was so slow, quiet and soothing… it could lure you into doing absolutely anything.

"Leave me alone!" the shrine maiden tried to hold back but she unknowingly, she was taking more and more steps into the pit of darkness that her mind is.

"Reimu…"

"What is it?"

"There is a blade on the table. A knife."

"What…?"

"Take it Reimu. Use it to soothe your pain. Use it to soothe the burden in your chest."

"What are you…"

"Do it, Reimu. Go on." The voice got intense, it got loud, it even sounded like Reimu's voice.

_"Kill yourself."_

Reimu thought her heart stopped for a second, but it did not. What she heard was unbelievable and out of any boundaries of comprehension, but for some strange reason, it felt absolutely rational to Reimu's ears. She gasped, cold sweat started running down her face. She then left her blankets and got up, just like a doll manipulated by its puppeteer.

She made her way to the table and reached out her hand for the knife, whose blade looked even sharper when hit by the few sunrays that made their way through the window. She took a hold of it and gazed at it, watching it closely and inspecting its every part. It looked so sharp. According to the voice, it was exactly what she needed to put an end to her pain and misery.

"You just have to press it against your wrists… and then legs… and finally… your stomach."

She unconsciously obeyed the voice. She could no longer act on her own; she had only one thing on her mind. "I need to get rid of the pain."

She held the knife tightly and placed it right above her wrist. She hesitated slightly; but the voice had her move on. She pressed the blade against her wrist and moved it. A drop or two of blood made their way to the surface, as she cut through her skin. It felt painful, but the pain was not like the one in her chest. This kind of pain was intense and sharper, but somehow, it was also quite addictive.

"More." The voice mumbled.

The Eternal Shrine Maiden kept slicing through her wrists, both the left and right one, making more and more cuts, one on top of another. The cold blade against her skin felt unbearable, but Reimu needed more, and more of it. The blade's silver color slowly started turning scarlet from all the blood gushing out of Reimu's wounds.

"…Huh?" Back in the Forest of Magic, the Ordinary Magician was sitting in her backyard, starring at the sky. But all of a sudden, she felt a very strong feeling sense of overwhelming through her chest, as if something was wrong. "What is this? This can't be good…" She got up and stared at the clouds, and how they moved to the south. "The clouds seem to gather up… Towards the Hakurei Shrine." The magician's expression looked too serious for anyone to recognize it's her. "Reimu… is she alright?"

"That is the same question I'm now asking myself, Marisa." The youkai of boundaries stood by the witch, surprising her with her abrupt entry. "…Yukari! Did you also feel that just a bit ago?" Marisa asked. "Yes I did. And I certainly identify this sort of feeling… it has to do with our shrine maiden." She said. The tone of her voice seemed so solemn and severe, but you could notice a hint of her worries in it. Her expression was as serious as ever, maybe slightly angry too if you please, but deep down, she knew something was wrong and she had to take action quickly. "I'm not willing to stand here and wonder… I'm gonna go find her!" The Black and White Witch got on her broom and started flying away, determined to find what was wrong with her friend. "Then… I might as well go on." said Yukari as she started flying towards the shrine.

After Reimu's arms had no more room for such cuts, she moved on to her legs just as the voice told her to. Just like her arms, she filled them with cuts in a matter of seconds, blood flowing from all of them and dying her body red. She began feeling dizzy, and the mental pain got violent, mixed with the physical one. "I can't… do this…" she mumbled to herself. Her breathing began getting heavy,

"The pain is still there, Reimu. You know what you need to do."

"I… I do…"

The Eternal Shrine Maiden tightened her grip around the knife's handle and held it in front of her, the blade facing her.

"Do it."

Her legs gave up on her, resulting in her falling on her knees. She held the knife tightly with both her hands, leaning her head back and closing her eyes as she pointed the blade towards her chest. And just that moment, just that moment that she was about to do the most irrational of things, the most incomprehensible of deeds, the orange sunlight shone bright, and through the shrine's windows. It bathed her eternally youthful body in its apricot radiance; her long, black hair, her snow-white skin and even her deep scarlet blood.

_"End it."_

And with that, she pierced her chest with the blood bathed blade she used to release her pain. Her eyes opened wide, as she spat out a bit of blood. "It's… over…" she thought. The Shrine Maiden who Protected Dreams and Tradition fell lifeless on the Hakurei Shrine's grounds, as the last thing she heard was a faint voice that sounded like Marisa's shout of her name. "Reimu…!" she had heard.

The young Magician and Youkai of Boundaries flew as fast as they could to the shrine, both rushing through the front door. "Reimu!" they cried. "Reimu, where are y-"And then they stopped. Greeted with the sight of the lifeless body of their beloved Hakurei Shrine Maiden, they both gazed in shock, terror, and horror. "Rei…mu…" Marisa's voice faded. It was being drowned by the sudden tears forming in her eyes. She snapped. "REIMU!" she screamed, falling on her knees and tightly embracing the corpse of the gorgeous Shrine Maiden. Sobbing loudly as ever, she cried above her cherished friend's pale face, her tears dropping on the Reimu's face like toxic drops of acid. At the gate of the shrine, the Border of Phantasm, Yukari Yakumo, was standing still like a frozen statue, holding her parasol and gazing upon the former guardian of Gensokyo's body. A single tear rolled down her right cheek, coming from her right eye.

"Once again…" she whispered.

_"I am… late…"_

* * *

Two weeks had passed since the Eternal Shrine Maiden's death. Gensokyo became a gloomier paradise, every single youkai and human mourning for the loss of its everlasting guardian. All her acquaintances; Aya, Suika, Alice, the Moriya Shrine, the Myouren Temple, the Hall of Dreams' Great Mausoleum, and everybody else, mourned and prayed for her soul to rest forever.

The Youkai of the Boundaries was spending her time in Hakugyokurou with her Shikigami Ran and Chen, alongside Yuyuko and Youmu. "No sign of the girl in the Netherworld… and according to Shikieiki and her Shinigami familiar, her soul did not show up in Muenzuka either…"said Yuyuko. "I see how it is, then. Thank you for your help." Said Yukari solemnly. "I am deeply sorry…" the Dreaming Ghost said as she patted Yukari's back. Yukari attempted to smile faintly to give Yuyuko a hint that everything is fine, but was unable to. She kept her head down and then took a sip from her tea, as her Shikigami, Ran, stared at her full of worries.

Marisa, on the other hand… she spent every morning and evening above Reimu's tombstone. "Here lies the Wonderful Shrine Maiden of Paradise, Gensokyo's one and only Guardian of Dreams and Traditions, Reimu Hakurei." Marisa has memorized what it said on it by heart. This dusk, she was there again, above it, starring at all the beautiful flowers that had grown around it. And there it was; a single red spider lily right in front of the tombstone. Makes sense for it to be there, but it's beautiful how it grew so soon. The witch placed her hat on top of Reimu's grave. "Oh, Reimu… if only you were here just for a little longer…" She murmured, a tear or two forming in her right eye. "If only… my love, if only…"

Two weeks ago, Gensokyo lost its most precious entity to the most dangerous of enemies; pain and sorrow. Weakness? Of course not. She was never a weak-willed girl in the first place. Not at all… And she will never be remembered as one. She was the strongest of girls, and the most fitting of shrine maidens to serve as this eternal paradise's guardian. But now, she is gone… Will this paradise cease to exist as well? Will her dreams fade away like she did?

That might happen in another phantasm. Just not this one.

* * *

_I've had this idea for a long time so I've really wanted write this, and I apologize if it's not really good enough. Thank you for reading, hope you liked it._


End file.
